The word picture for preposterous is very clear.
Dissecting the word into parts, pre means before; post means after, so the word meaning is all about order, and when this word is used it means things are out of order. What is meant to be before is after and what is meant to be after is before.
The expression getting the cart before the horse is a perfect analogy for being preposterous.
The suffix erous means to have the quality of, but in this case, we can transliterate it; in other words, we can use its sound to capture its meaning, kind of like an onomatopoeia.
So, preposterous is such an accurate description of the world culture of our era that we could say out-of-order are us. (kinda like Toys R Us).
When it comes to relationships, the order of things is very important to God, especially in the man-woman romantic relationship.
The problem with our culture, as has been the case with most every culture in human history, is that men and woman attracted to each other get things out of order.
Sex comes, too often, before the other aspects of the relationship. Friendship, partnership in endeavors, family support, emotional intimacy, commitment and marital covenant are better ordered before sex, yet couples often have sex before some or all of the other aspects.
We’ve heard some people described as being like an onion; they have to be accessed one layer at a time. Well, I think every romantic relationship is like an onion; it has to be navigated one layer at a time; and having sex prematurely not only gets things out of the order God intended, but sacrifices some of the most important parts of the romance process.
So, here’s the advice of a sixty-three-year-old romantic who experienced virtually every challenge of single life and landed in a fulfilling marriage of now thirty-eight years:
- Become friends first. Friendship is the best foundation for a romantic relationship and it serves as the lifeblood of a long-term marriage.
- Experience some non-sexual endeavors together, projects – short-term and long-term – that require you to work together, learn each other’s strengths and weaknesses and rely on each other for success. The emotional bond you build will be very strong.
- This one may be third on the list, but it’s first in importance. Make God the center of your relationship. As you both draw near to Him, you’ll find that you two are also very close as a couple in the best way.
- Commit to not having sex until you’re married. This may be old-fashioned and countercultural, but it’s the desire of the ancient of Days (that’s God), and His way always works best. (Doing things His way is what it means to be holy, especially when it starkly contrasts with the ways of the culture.)
Dare to navigate the romantic process in the right order in a culture full of preposterous relationships.
