Families who have tight unity among themselves understand unity’s value. And so do families ravaged by division.
Maintaining family unity takes some skill, like conflict management, forgiveness, agreeing to disagree, patience and so forth. It may be that the most important factor is to understand and value unity.
Jesus, God the Son who created the family and gave instructions for maintaining its integrity, told his disciples that, although He valued family members having peace with one another, it was for an even greater purpose that He came.
Jesus’ mission was (and is) to deliver us from sin and reconcile us to God. If some family members accept Jesus while others reject Him, it presents a strong opportunity for division.
Honoring father and mother stands near the apex of the most important commandments in the Law of Moses, yet Jesus supplanted it with the Law of Christ, which is simply to believe in Jesus Christ and follow His example of loving and forgiving others.
So, if a person faces the choice between allegiance to parents, siblings or any other family member and God, they should choose God.
Christians shouldn’t be surprised when conflict arises within their family because they choose Christ while their opposing family member rejects Him.
The important thing – while they navigate the conflict and stand strong in their faith – is to be sure to love their adversarial family member, and to love them in a way that they understand their choice to follow Jesus increases, not decreases, the love they have for their family.
This can be tricky in a culture where people have the belief that love and disagreement cannot coexist.
This is our opportunity. If we can get it across to family members with whom we disagree about the most basic belief (how we view God and relate to Him) that we love them even when we differ in our worldview, we can actually be effective witnesses for the Lord to the people we love most.
Of course, our enemy sees an opportunity, too. He wants us divided and for God to be misunderstood, misrepresented and rejected.
So, as in all cases that involve the devil, spiritual warfare is the only way to victory. Spiritual warfare includes all of the following:
- Prayer (pray for the person and your effectiveness in representing Jesus for them.)
- God’s Word (Find, believe and confess in prayer the powerful relevant promises from Scripture.)
- Jesus (Remember to never leave God out of the equation; the Holy Spirit indwelling believers provides whatever wisdom we need.)
- Love (Communicating with and relating to family members without love will end in the opposite result from the one we want and God wants.)
So, don’t let the enemy surprise you; conflict is natural and is often a step on the journey to helping a family member find Jesus for themselves. Keep in mind the four ingredients above as you relate to unbelieving family members. And may you have success in leading your family from division to unity in Christ.
“Do you think I have come to bring peace to the earth? No, I have come to divide people against each other! From now on families will be split apart, three in favor of me, and two against—or two in favor and three against.”
Luke 12:51-52 NLT