Proverbs 14:1 tells us that a wise woman builds her home and a foolish woman tears hers down.
I see a principle there that applies to more than just the women of their houses. A broader application can be made to all people. House can represent a person’s life. The real point is that wisdom and foolishness are like night and day, good and evil, light and darkness; their ways are opposite, as are their outcomes.
An example of a foolish person tearing down their house and an example of a wise one building theirs come from the same story, two spouses, one operating out of foolishness and the other out of wisdom. The story is fascinating and replete with lessons for the wise. It’s found in 2nd Samuel 25.
David and the several hundred men loyal to him are on the run from Saul. They need food when David learns of the wealthy Nabal having a sheep-shearing event. Since David and his men had provided protection and sustenance for Nabal’s laborers some time recently, David thinks Nabal a likely source of food for his men. But Nabal foolishly denies David’s request, responding with insults instead of generosity. (The Hebrew meaning of Nabal is fool, and he lives up to his name very well.)
Conversely, Nabal’s beautiful wife, Abigail, is wise enough for the both of them. Upon hearing how Nabal has treated David, she hurries to make amends. David is on his way to retaliate against Nabal when Abigail intercepts him, showering him with honorable words, delicious food and an apology on behalf of her husband.
Long story short, Nabal soon dies in his folly and David wins Abigail as his bride and eventual queen.
Nabal foolishly destroyed his household and life while his wise and wonderful wife used wisdom to preserve for herself the best life Israel had to offer a woman at the time.
Take-aways abound. Here are three, all from Proverbs, the writings of David’s future son, King Solomon (Please read the entire 25th chapter of 2 Samuel in the Bible, as I don’t have space here to include it.):
- A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. (Proverbs 15:1) When we choose how to respond to people, what is our choice? The Holy Spirit’s guidance will nearly always be to use gentleness.
- A gift in secret pacifies anger (Proverbs 21:14) A primary difference between Nabal’s response and Abigail’s is that he was stingy and she was generous. Because of Nabal’s presumed nastiness toward his wife, she had to give her gifts to David in secret. The wise couple will be in unity in their resource management, agreeing to be as generous as they can be and acting in concert in their giving.
- A virtuous wife who can find? (Proverbs 31:10) This is pretty messed up, but this proverb was written by the son of the woman with whom Abigail’s future husband would have an affair. Nevertheless, Abigail did act virtuously concerning David and Nabal, and as the proverb indicates, such a virtuous wife was rare indeed. The two questions for us are: do we act virtuously? And do we recognize the virtues that our spouse possesses?
Please consider these 3 things in the building of your house and the prevention of its destruction.
Love this! Great advice for couples.