Nehemiah had returned from Babylonian captivity to rebuild the great wall of Jerusalem. The wall encircling the city was 2.5 miles long and about 11 feet high. That’s a lot of stones.
It was a 52-day-long (miraculously short) period of reconstruction for the wall and there had been attacks – both verbal and physical – from the enemies of the Jews to prevent the city from being rebuilt and returning to prominence.
The workers even had to carry weapons for protection while they did their work, and some Jewish people Nehemiah had assigned solely to guard the workers.
Once the work was completed, all the people of the city gathered to hear the reading of God’s word, which consisted at that time of the Law of Moses.
At the hearing of the requirements God had written for His people and realizing how disobedient they had been, the people began to weep the tears of remorse.
That didn’t sit well with Nehemiah. In attempt to redirect the mourners, he told them to stop the crying.
Even though conviction of disobedience to God is a good thing, there is a time for all things under heaven; and this wasn’t the time for sorrow.
Nehemiah understood something every leader, every spouse, every person needs to understand
Celebration is absolutely a must.
He essentially told his people that their strength – the joy of the Lord – was at stake here and celebration, which would accompany their joy, was too important to miss.
This lesson has endless applications. Marriage is one of them.
My wife and I just returned from a trip to eastern Europe, where we celebrated our 38th wedding anniversary.
That was the 38th time we’ve celebrated an anniversary, and we go away every July 11th to celebrate. (One year we stayed a block away from our home at a bed & breakfast because the birth of our 4th child was eminent and a sitter spent the night in our home with our 3 first kids, ages 6, 4 and 2.)
We always look forward to our big anniversary celebration trip; I maintain a document that includes each year and the destination of each year’s celebration. It’s the highlight of our year each year.
Here are some thoughts to consider for celebration within marriage:
- Celebration Requires Focus. Focus means ignoring – or even eliminating – the peripheral. Nehemiah wanted the focus to be the success God had made for them with the wall project, but the people got distracted by their past disobedience. It’s easy for us to focus on the negatives. But celebration is a time for focusing on positives. Resist the temptation to delve into the problems in your home, family and marriage. There’s an appropriate time to address issues, but celebration and correction don’t mix.
- Celebration = Success + Success + Success. When Nehemiah gathered the people, they had a list of successes to celebrate, the completion of the project, the timeliness of the completion, the enemies overcome, and the future strength and freedom of Jerusalem. Sometimes my wife and I will name the successes of the past year, recent months, and over our whole marriage. These addends equal a sum of genuine celebration with substance and depth.
- Celebration Is Exclusive. Jerusalem was the place, the Jewish generation of transition from exile were the people, and the wall project was the success. Nobody else, nowhere else, and no other successes were included in the celebration. Celebrate your marriage in a strategic location and with only your spouse (unless you would include close family and friends for a super special success, like a golden anniversary).
- Celebration Always Includes God. If you’re successful in something, and God provided every single resource involved, including your wisdom and ability, who really deserves the credit? A huge part of celebration is giving credit where credit is due. Neglecting the celebration of God means the celebration is perverse. Celebrating marriage must place at the forefront the Creator of each spouse, Joiner of the husband and wife, Provider of all their needs and Protector that preserves their lives and relationship.
I hope this helps in your future marriage celebrations!
And one final anniversary wish to my wife, Sharlene. Happy 38th, baby!