As parents, our first responsibility, in both a priority sense and chronologically, is to raise our kids to be disciples of Jesus. As I look back over my life, I see three experiences in my own discipleship that parents can apply to raising up their kids as disciples.
- Private Moments with Mama. My mom (We called her Mama growing up.) is the most impactful human in my life’s history; I didn’t realize it until years later – not fully until after she’d passed away – what a force she was. She had such a quiet and humble demeanor that one would never describe her as forceful, but of all the ways that I know God, the majority of them I learned without even realizing I was learning, before I even reached the point of surrendering my life to Christ, being born again or receiving the indwelling Holy Spirit.
Here’s the way she did it. She would draw herself close to me, literally, and speak very softly, often in a whisper, in the context of whatever was going on in my life. Her superpower as a mom was being able to say exactly the thing I needed to hear. Her soft messages always challenged me to consider God, recognize that He was present with me, and respond in the way He wanted. As I look back fifty years later now, those moments were the most powerfully formative that I’ve ever experienced. I only wish I’d recognized their value so I could’ve thanked and valued my mother more.
Parents, remember that the greatest opportunities in your whole life may be the open ears – and hearts – of your child in their most vulnerable moments. Don’t miss them. And don’t ruin them by being overbearing in moments that call for gentleness.
- Times of Spirit-filled Corporate Worship. My parents had us kids in our Bible-believing rural Baptist church every Sunday. In addition to that, my mom played the piano and formed a family gospel singing group with two of my sisters and me. We sang all over our county in local church revival services (where we often witnessed and experienced very powerful moves of God’s Spirit). Those experiences allowed me to know God in a way many people never get to.
Parents, we don’t want to over-delegate our kids’ spiritual training, but having them in a solid church and in worship service alive with the Spirit will serve them well in their relationship with God.
- Just friends. A lot of parents miss this, but there comes a time (when the kids grow up) when the only help a parent can be to them is by being their friend. Authority is a thing of the past. They were under our authority for years, and they now enjoy the freedom of independence. Still, they want us as friends. My mom did well with this. She understood that each of us five kids had to figure things out for ourselves and nobody – even she and our dad – could dictate for us how to live, think and believe. The friendship of parents to their adult children is very effective; they need our affirmation, recognition and encouragement, things friends give to each other. And if the kid isn’t where they should be in their walk with God, praying for them and showing them our love will be our best course.
These three ingredients will serve parents well in helping their kids into a relationship with Jesus. May God bless us all – parents and kids, alike – in these ways.