The minions had been called to formation. Thousands of them stood in rank order before their commanding officer, Captain Asunder.
Asunder’s voice was powerful as thunder and could be heard for miles as his words rumbled into the pointy ears of the minions, rattling their boney chests as it resonated between the mountains and across the valley where the army had mustered. “Imps, lowly bootlickers, servile soldiers of the basest rank, if you will prove yourself and achieve any semblance of promotion in the kingdom of Lucifer, you will do as I command, and you will do it with results!” Asunder paced back and forth stomping, drool escaping his lips to roll down his prickly chin and putrid beath fogging from his mouth as he delivered his vile, monstrous tones. “Yahweh has established his desire for his married people, which you idiots should know by now provides your objective. Our mission is always what?”
Exactly the opposite of Yahweh’s desire!” Thousands of strong unified voices yelled back to their commanding officer. Asunder was pleased but would never be heard saying so.
So if Yahweh has said the husband and wife are one flesh, united together, then your mission is…” Asunder paused ever so briefly.
“To divide and conquer!” The minions shouted back in fear, right again.
“If the husband is to love his wife…”
Turn his heart against her!
“If the wife is to submit to her husband…”
“Incite rebellion in her heart!”
“Well,” Asunder said with an evil laugh, “you fools got the easy ones right. But Major Malcontent will now instruct you in the more delicate tactics.”
The major stepped forward and addressed the army assembled for the destruction of marriage. “We know you can shout, but can you whisper?”
The troops said nothing; the last thing needed right now was a shout.
“You know how to fight, but can you work together?”
Major Malcontent continued addressing the army. “Work in tandem. One of you, whisper in the husband’s ear, slandering his wife; and the other, slander the husband in the ear of the wife.”
The minions stood, wiser now, ready for their final orders.
Malcontent opened his mouth for more instruction, but Asunder interrupted, stepping forward and yelling. “Now fly your little boney asses out of here and don’t come back until you’ve broken up some marriages, some families and some homes!”
Fear for Asunder catapulted all the minions into the sky, swarming like a flock of locusts. They flew around the earth, dropping down by twos onto married couples on every continent.
Let’s remember that we husbands and wives don’t fight against each other, but together against the powers of darkness assigned by our enemy to bring about our destruction.
Our defense? Eat. Pray. Love.
Eat. Devour God’s Word.
Pray. Pray for your spouse and for your marriage.
Love. Love your spouse as yourself.
Victory over every hellish minions is ours!
Glory to God!
