Anyone who wears glasses understands the importance of clean lenses. Lenses tarnished by dirt or fog can render our vision not only skewed, but even completely blocked. Glasses without clear lenses may be useless.
In Jesus’ earliest recorded public message He addressed the importance of accurate vision. Speaking figuratively, He said that a person’s vision blocked by a proverbial log in their eye makes them of no use in seeing ways they can help another person.
To apply Jesus’ principle to a most useful scenario today, we could state it like this: A spouse whose vision is blocked by their own misjudgments cannot see how to help their spouse.
Some of the most problematic issues to our life-lenses are unforgiveness, resentment, bitterness and offense, all of which are closely related.
If we went shopping for a product to clean such grimy film off our lenses, the multi-purpose product would be forgiveness.
But forgiveness is often not easy. Just ask King Solomon. He wrote in Proverbs 18:19 that when we’ve offended someone – even someone close to us, like a sibling – it’s harder to win back their favor than it is to conquer a strong-walled, fortified city.
Now, remember, a Christian married couple are brother and sister in Christ. Also remember that the walls of a fortified city in the ancient times of Solomon were the best and most effective defense technology of its day.
Perhaps it’s that word – defense – wherein the problem lies.
President Teddy Roosevelt’s motto for national defense was speak softly and carry a big stick. In other words, use diplomacy to prevent a war, but develop a strong military to prepare for the likelihood of one.
Preventing problems and being prepared for their possible existence. Most of us hold to that policy when it comes to offense in our marriages. We try to avoid being offended, but we’re ready to fight if they do present themselves.
A better plan would be to prevent and prepare by agape-love, the love that gives favor regardless of how one behaves, also known as grace.
About agape-love, Paul wrote that it is patient (prevention) and that it keeps no record of wrongs (preparation). We find that description in 1 Corinthians 13, and in case I’m confusing you, let me state it this way: be patient with your spouse, regardless of what they do; and if they do something wrong, don’t let it be recorded in your mind.
So, whether your spouses’ wrongs are in the past, present or future, you maintain a favorable view of them. You have clean glasses.
