You’re in a standoff. Spouse against spouse. You have to win this fight. Things have to go your way this time. A lot rides on this situation. Precedent will be set. Positions of power will be set. Principles will be laid down for this marriage.
You have to win. And you won’t rest until you do. You don’t want any more sleepless nights. It’s time to put an end to this. To attain the victory and carry off its spoils.
Here are three Scriptures you need. But don’t be surprised. Victory will not look like you think it will.
1. I beg you, brothers and sisters, agree with one another. (1 Corinthians 1:10) That’s right, the victory for your disagreement is found only when you come into agreement.
2. How can two walk together unless they agree? (Amos 3:3) I chose this verse not only to reinforce the 1 Corinthians one, but also to give you a logic-based motivation to remember that the best scenario for your post-argument marriage years (And believe me, there is good life ahead for your marriage with this plan.) You will walk together. But oh what an unpleasant walk it will be unless you step into agreement. You’re right in saying this situation will set precedent and lay the groundwork for the path you’ll be taking. But it isn’t the dominance of one spouse over another, especially if you’re the dominant one. It must be agreement that becomes the precedent. Stated succinctly, the only victory in a marriage argument is when spouses come into agreement.
3. Humble yourself under God’s mighty hand and He will exalt you in due time. (1 Peter 5:6) This verse takes us into the how-to of coming into agreement. And the DIY of an overcoming type of agreement is to humble yourself. Humility happens when we lower ourselves beneath others. And the two most important others to position ourselves beneath are God and our spouse. It’s by humility that we soften the heart of our spouse. And it’s by humility that we soften our own heart. Only soft, caring hearts can repent, and repentance is what it takes to move from standoff to agreement, thereby gaining victory in our marriage fight. Two softened hearts preferring one another, relinquishing the stance of battle and taking on the stance of victory through humility, agreement and marital unity. In due time – at exactly the right time – God will exalt you to the place of marital victory and success, which is agreement and unity with your spouse.
So, go forth in victory. Surrender. It’s only through surrender, humility and agreement that you’ll win this marriage fight. And marriage wins are always win-win. You never win if your spouse loses.
