What If I Led Like This?

I recently went on a ten-day mission trip to Ecuador. I had many cool experiences on the trip, but perhaps the most edifying to me was the example set by our team leader. I saw in our leader, Justin Huber, several traits I want to adopt as a husband-leader in my marriage.

Justin was the following for our team and I want to maintain these traits for my wife.

• Quietly Proactive. As our team rode the bus to our ministry destinations, Justin was usually quiet. He may interact with team members, but usually almost unnoticeably. As we neared the places where we would do ministry, it became apparent that Justin had spent the bus ride reviewing the schedule and team assignments and gathering his thoughts for communicating final instructions to the team. What if I provide such quiet, strong leadership for my wife and household? 

• Attentive in Listening. Even with all the responsibilities of leading the team, Justin took the time to give his full attention to whatever person needed to speak with him. He didn’t kind of listen while he did other things. He stopped everything and focused on nothing but the person speaking to him. Of course, he was able to do this because he had invested his time in quiet, proactive preparation. What if I become this kind of listener to my wife?

• Engaging with Laughter. Justin genuinely laughed with someone as he connected with them. It wasn’t courtesy laughter; Justin found truly funny the comical thing the person was saying to him. He meshed with them with one of the most powerful links for interpersonal connection: humor. What if I take every opportunity to belly-laugh with my wife?

• Gentle in Approach. Justin would often approach individuals to discuss something. He would always approach them with a light touch, a soft word and kind tone. His approach made them want to respond by helping in whatever way they could.

• Prepared for Protection. As meek and humble as Justin always carried himself., there was one instance in which he expressed his strength in a different way. One of our team members – a lady – was about to get off the bus and go into a place of business alone. Another team member jokingly said, “Be careful; don’t get mugged.” Justin’s almost uncharacteristic reply was, “It would be a very bad decision for someone to attack her (our team member).” Justin is a retired Marine Corps Lieutenant Colonel. Everyone on the bus knew he was capable of backing up his words, as we processed the shock of such bold words coming from the mouth of our unassuming leader. What if I was so gung ho to protect my wife in any way she may need it?

The kind of leadership God desires in His kingdom, including our marriages, is sometimes surprising. What if I adopted these surprising methods? I bet my wife would be surprised.