Marriage Club

Five years ago my wife, Sharlene, and I had it in our hearts to start something we call Marriage Club.

We invited several couples to meet with us once a month on a Friday night; we would have dinner (we would enlist the couples to contribute to the meal), after which we would have a marriage topic about which we would watch a video, lead a group discussion and pray out. Almost all of our videos were YouTube videos; it’s pretty amazing how much is available on YouTube that matches up with our Marriage Club needs. 

We just completed our fourth straight year of Marriage Club. We’ve had a blast with it, grown closer to dozens of couples and seen our and the other MC members’ marriages strengthened. Now we’re gearing up for year five.

This year, we’d love to see others lead their own MCs. Perhaps you’d be interested in starting up one. If you’d love to get one going but aren’t confident that you can lead it, you can spread out the responsibilities across a couple different roles and take the multiple-leaders approach. It’s essentially like a church small group without being under the umbrella of a church or ministry organization. 

Sharlene and I considered organizing it in a way that MC chapters could form under a growing MC umbrella but decided against it. We don’t care to have a “big” ministry or have any control over its growth and development. We prefer to let it grow organically in grassroots fashion, allowing freedom for the Holy Spirit to use others to make it whatever He wants it to be. 

We also considered developing a leader’s guide but decided that isn’t necessary because it’s such a simple model that it can be explained in a single blog post, thus the blog post you’re reading now.

Here’s all you need to know. But it’s important to customize, think innovatively and organize things in a way that works for you. This is not anything close to a cookie cutter template, but just based on our experience; your club may look very different from ours. We do strongly suggest your club agree from the start to recognize the Bible as the standard for marriage and to build your club on its principles.

Roles. These can be filled by a team of couples or just one couple; it can even be a different team from month to month.

• Host (should have the space to accommodate the size gathering that forms)
• Food Coordinator (can decide how much and what food to contribute themselves and how much others need to contribute; should be gifted as an organizer of people)
• Childcare Coordinator (should search for options of sitters – usually teenaged girls by our experience – and schedule them in advance; should coordinate the paying of those serving in this way; we ask members who can to contribute to the childcare fund each month)
• Discussion Leader (They need to be gifted in leading small group discussion; this role is not that of teacher, but they should be somewhat knowledgeable and able to help the group share and receive the wisdom God has imparted to each of the members while keeping the discussion on topic; it’s ideal if a couple can do this as a team, which Sharlene and I do, but if only one person is gifted for it, better for us all to work in our own wheelhouse. Sharlene sometimes includes a game that reinforces the topic, which adds to the gathering’s fun and enhances the learning and growth process.)
• Members (We invited married couples and couples considering or working toward marriage; there are no attendance requirements, allowing couples the freedom to decide for themselves the priority of MC in their lives from month to month; attendance can be fluid from month to month, even having couples join and un-join organically) 

Topics. There are 12 meetings a year, unless you take off one or more months; whatever number of meetings you have is the number of topics you need. I suggest making sure you cover the following seven and decide what other topics you’ll cover to fill out the year. 

• Understanding Your Unique Spouse, Self and Marriage (we use The Five Love Languages, How Am I Smart, The Birth Order Book, Personality Tests, Enneagram Scores and other resources as tools for this.)
• Understanding Marital Love
• Biblical Roles of Husband and Wife
• Communication in Marriage
• Managing Conflict in Marriage
• Money in Marriage
• Sex and Romance in Marriage

Various Settings. We encourage member couples to connect outside the monthly gatherings. The group discussion can be only so personal and open. Couples can find opportunities for deeper connection as they form friendships that transcend monthly MC meetings. Sharlene and I also offer some counseling to interested couples; however, this is part of our skillset and gifting. If this isn’t a specialty of yours, you may be able to recommend trustworthy Christian marriage counselors, which you can search and find in your local area, to your members. 

If you ‘re interested in MC but have questions , please feel free to DM me; I’d love to help in any way I can.