Lying Down

In the movie Pursuit of Happyness, Chris Gardener, played by Will Smith, narrates his own life story. At various points along the storyline, he says, “This part of my life is called Running/Internship/Happyness.”

If I’m narrating my story and naming various parts of it, I have a part I call Lying Down. It isn’t a season to itself, rather, it’s several short periods, each lasting several months, weeks, days, or even minutes, interspersed along the timeline of my journey . These are times when I was forced to be still and quiet so the Lord could speak to me or change my perspective. 

The most memorable was when a case of vertigo came upon me suddenly. I lay on the couch and couldn’t turn my head, or even my eyes, to the right or to the left. So I lay flat on my back looking straight ahead at the board directly in front of me in our wood paneled wall. If I looked at an adjacent board on either side of it, I would become sickly nauseous. As I lay there looking at that board, the Lord reminded me of the previous night. I had decided to fast for twenty-four hours, but hadn’t yet committed to when I would begin my fast. I was at one of my sons’ basketball games. During the game, we made plans to go out to eat with some other parents after the game. Before we left the gym, I went to the men’s room. As I stood in front of the mirror, I had made my decision to go ahead and begin the fast. I looked myself dead in the eye and said out loud, “I’m not going to eat dinner tonight.” But when we got to the restaurant and everybody was ordering, I changed my mind, ordered, and ate. God also reminded me of how lax I had also been in other areas of my life. I had allowed my eyes to wander beyond the bounds of purity and had procrastinated in initiating ministry projects I knew He was leading me to implement. I was not taking God seriously enough.

Another Lying Down moment was when my wife and I were on an anniversary trip in St. Thomas, VI. We went to dinner and I ordered a tasty mixed drink. Then, I ordered a second one. After dinner I went upstairs to the restroom. As I stood at the sink washing my hands, I became lightheaded and broke out in a cold sweat. Fortunately, there was a nice leather couch just outside the restrooms area. As I lay there on that couch sweating out toxins, the Lord began to speak to me: “In 1995, you told Me you were never going to drink again.  I didn’t make the requirement; you made it for yourself. Soon, you decided you would drink only on your anniversary, and only champaign on those occasions. A few years later, on an anniversary trip, you decided you would have a Dos Equis, because the commercials were so cool. But you found that it was just beer. Tonight, you drank liquor.” As I lay there, this scripture came to mind:  If a man makes a vow to the Lord, or swears an oath to bind himself by some agreement, he shall do according to all that proceeds out of his mouth.(Numbers 30:2)

In 2002, my primary ministry having for years been music (singer, songwriter, choir director and worship leader), I began doing more and more preaching. Still, most people who knew me referred to me as a singer, rather than a preacher. One day I said to God, “Lord I want to be known as a preacher, not a singer.” In a matter of weeks, nodules formed on my vocal cords, and I could neither sing nor speak. The Lord healed me a few months later, and these words came to my mind: “Don’t despise the gifts of the Lord.” I also realized the basis of my prayer had been way off. My focus was on what people thought of me as, when it should’ve been on whether I was doing and being what God wanted. 

I don’t believe God punishes His children – those who believe in His Son. Whatever punishment we deserve, Jesus endured for us on the cross. But I do believe God corrects us. He wants us to experience the very best possible life, and we cannot do that by getting off the track that He designs and wants for us, and to which He calls us. He loves us enough to correct us, so we can become what He gloriously desires for us to be. I tried to do the same for my children, but I wasn’t nearly as wise or as loving as He is. I’m glad I have a Father perfect in both love and wisdom, and I’m thankful for His hand of correction in my life!

I thank the Lord for the part of life I call Lying Down!

Hebrews 12:5-11 says:

“My son, do not despise the chastening of the Lord, nor be discouraged when you are rebuked by Him; For whom the Lord loves He chastens, and scourges every son whom He receives.” 

If you endure chastening, God deals with you as with sons; for what son is there whom a father does not chasten? But if you are without chastening, of which all have become partakers, then you are illegitimate and not sons. Furthermore, we have had human fathers who corrected us, and we paid them respect. Shall we not much more readily be in subjection to the Father of spirits and live? For they indeed for a few days chastened us as seemed best to them, but He for our profit, that we may be partakers of His holiness. Now no chastening seems to be joyful for the present, but painful; nevertheless, afterward it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.