My nephew will be married soon. I wrote some comments to him and his fiancé. I’ve adapted them for a general readership and offer them here to any who are soon to be wed. CONGRATS provides an acrostical structure.)
Choice.
Perhaps you’ve been choosey. Well, I think it’s paid off for you to be choosey. Probably both of you have chosen not to pursue other opportunities; and because of that, you were able to make the choice you’ve made. You’ve chosen wisely. So congrats on the choice you both have made!
Over.
The single phase of your life will soon be over. I encourage you to be completely over that phase. Don’t think, speak or act like a single person. Instead, approach everything together as a married couple, two people in complete unity. The old mentality of singleness will present itself to you and seek to be invited in. Tell it that it’s no longer welcome in your life, that it’s been replaced forever.
Never look back.
Never second guess your decision to marry each other. You’ve given ample thought and prayer to your decision with counsel from wise people who love you. There can never be regrets or “what ifs” about your past. Having a good marriage means looking ahead, not behind.
Grace.
Grace means you’ve decided that, no matter what your spouse does or doesn’t do, you’re going to show them kindness. This is what Jesus has brought to us and it’s the most important factor in a successful marriage.
Relatives.
Relatives can be a negative for a marriage, but you have family (and let’s add close friends, too, because they’re like family) who are for you and not against you. Surround yourselves with those people and keep a safe distance from the others. When you need support of some kind, go to your advocates who will build your marriage up, not the adversaries who would tear it down. Remember, a boxer goes to his own corner between rounds, not to his opponent’s. Speak to your wedding officiate before your wedding and ask them to issue an invitation to your wedding party during your ceremony, asking them to indicate by applause their commitment to always support your marriage and to never undermine it.
Always.
Marriage is for always and without any breaks (the only Scriptural exception being a brief abstention from physical intimacy so you can pray separately without distraction). I encourage you to go into your marriage with no plan B. You will be together for the entire time that you both are on this earth, beginning on your wedding day. Try not to see that as a pressure, but as a privilege. Think about it. You two get to do for the rest of your life the very things you so long for now – being together, tackling challenges together, parenting together, accomplishing things together, talking together, laughing together, crying together and sleeping together. What a wonderful thing – marriage – and God created it for you to enjoy together! Always.
Together.
I encourage you to do everything you can together rather than separately. There’ll be some things you’ll do individually, and you guys will figure out when that’s best. But I think it’s best to have your finances together, rather than his and hers. Spend as much time as possible together and make all your significant decisions together.
Sui Generis.
Sui Generis is a Latin term that means unique. Remember, there isn’t another couple like you. There never has been and never will be. You’ll get a lot of advice. You should prayerfully consider advice from the wise and caring, but remember that your relationship wasn’t created with a cookie cutter, so you can make your own decisions. And some of your decisions may be different from what any other couple would make. Most importantly, seek God in your decision-making. He’s the one who created two unique people and brought you together as an even more unique couple.
Congrats to you soon-to-be-married! I wish and pray God’s will for you, His very best! May the journey you both take together be fulfilling and inspiring! Love and Prayers!
You are so awesome