If something is holy, that means it’s set apart by God, with God and for God.
It was God who came up with the idea of humans enjoying sex together. That covers the by God piece.
God intended and intends that He be included in, not left out, of sex. Obviously not in a physical sense, but He wants His design for sex to be acknowledged and followed. That’s the with God part.
God has a purpose for sex, more than one, actually. Its most obvious purpose is procreation, but that’s not all. Apart from conceiving children, sex between a husband and wife connects them, unifies them, in the most intimate way possible. Not only are they physically intimate during sex, but through sex they also create an extremely strong bond mentally, emotionally and spiritually, the kind God wants a married couple to have. With this bond comes an intense level of joy and satisfaction.
A husband and wife experiencing this God-designed fulfillment are closer to each other than any two people can be.
As I say, holy means to be set apart by, with and for God. If a someone gets off track in their sex life, they’ve perverted it; it’s turned in the wrong direction (per = completely; vert = turn). They can correct it by repenting, which means to turn in the right direction. (re = again; pent = turn). So sexual perversion is turning away from God’s design for sex, and to turn back to His design produces fruit of repentance.
You may think that holy sex can’t include what perverted sex does. While that’s true, holy sex is more about what it includes than what it’s missing.
God prefers that sex would occur in a process where it’s preceded by some important things. These things are like foreplay, but in a broader sense. Here they are:
- Christian Fellowship. Fellowship means having something important in common. Before having sex, the first thing is to determine if you’re compatible spiritually, to see if you’re fellows in Christ.
- Friendship. To jump into bed without building a friendship first means you’re opting for a shallow, carnal relationship, missing important non-sexual things for an intimate relationship.
- Covenant. Skipping covenant means the relationship is devoid of commitment, dedication and loyalty. These virtues do far more than keeping one person from ending the relationship; they also establish a sense of confidence so they can enjoy sex on a bed of peace and security.
So, when we don’t leave out what God intended to be included, we’re preparing for a better sex life. That’s how we keep sex holy.