IF represents Influence / Fellowship.
We used to teach our kids this before our empty nest era.
Pay attention,” we would say, “to your friend relationships.”
We challenged them to determine which way the influence needed to flow, to pour into them the good things you have for them, and to receive from them their positive influence.
Fellowship has been defined as two fellows in a ship. Fellowship can actually involve more than two people. But the idea is that those in fellowship have much in common: goals and objectives, challenges and destination.
Recognizing the IF factor in relationships is important; it can mean the difference in growth versus stagnation, success versus failure, peace versus anxiety, and even eternal destiny.
The IF factor is strong in marriages, too. I can think of more than one couple who are divorced today because the IF factor became very unfavorable for them before they even realized it.
Here are four guidelines to keep IF working for your marriage, not against it:
- Be in relationship with people who share your belief in the importance of Biblical Scripture. God’s Word is true, powerful and necessary for real success in our lives. To be influenced away from that truth will steer you onto troublesome roads.
- Don’t receive influence from friends with a non-Christian world view. It’s okay to disagree with or reject advice from a source that lacks faith in Jesus.
- Prayerfully seek out couples who can benefit from your Christ-based influence. Pouring into others can be as fulfilling for the pourer as the receiver.
- Recognize – even seek out – couples who share your worldview and invest in fellowship with them. Remember that fellowship is two-way influence.
The IF factor is huge for every type of relationship. Why not apply it to the most important human relationship, marriage?