And I mean uncommon in a very good way. But more on that later.
In this uncommon-in-a-good-way marriage that I’ll get into later on, you’ll see five traits.
- Their priorities are to love Jesus first and spouse second. The list of loves goes on, but those are unwaveringly the top two, and in that order.
2. They love unconditionally, as best friends, as Christian brother-sister, and as sexual lovers. All four are important, but the uncommon marriage keeps them in that order.
3. They have a missional mentality. The dream for their marriage is to use their unique gifts and relationship to bear fruit together for God’s kingdom. Everything they do aligns somehow with their vision. They’re very purpose minded.
4. They have a deep connection that fosters natural, heart to heart communication. They delight in giving out and receiving the contents of each other’s heart. Their one-flesh-ness is evidenced by the way they communicate. They love it when they get one another and it happens normally.
5. Contentment and generosity best describe their financial life. They have unity because of their mutual contentment, and their generosity proves useful for building God’s kingdom.
Now, let’s get to the matter of what it means to be uncommon.
In my parents’ generation, children who spoke something crudely might hear their parents say “Don’t be common.” I never heard my mother say “fart,” “poot,” “toot” or even “pass gas;” her phrase was “break wind,” and she only said that with a whisper. Her parents were among those who thought their daughter should be uncommon in her conduct.
But what I mean by uncommon is holy. Holy is what God is, meaning He’s unique in the highest, best way. He has no rival, no equal, no peer. He alone created the universe, and He sits on Heaven’s throne alone. None loves like He does, none has the power He has and no other has the knowledge or awareness that He does.
It’s God who created marriage and He purposed it to be holy – uncommon – not the way humankind has made marriage to be, made up of self-centered, God-neglecting, inter-oppositional spouses lacking unity and purpose and trying to amass as much wealth as possible so they can squander it their own pleasures.
No, God’s plan for marriage is very different. It’s holy. Uncommon.