Perversion is sometimes like the proverbial frog in the pot on the stove. Being cold-blooded, he sits in the water, oblivious to its rising temperature. Until, finally, he’s being boiled to death.
We have some cold-blooded marriages, too. They don’t realize the trouble they’re in until the boiling waters of apathy turn to despisal, hatred, unfaithfulness, separation, and divorce.
We can’t bear the thought of being perverted. That’s the word we use for people who commit sex crimes.
But that may be our problem. We think perversion applies only to the extremely sinful. And I guess it does, but we “normal” people can be there before we know it.
Pervert means to turn completely away from what is good. (per: through, or thorough; vert: to turn)
Now since all good things come from God and God is good (not just as an adjective, but as a noun, good being part of the character of God), a person or a marriage can become perverted just by slowly turning more and more away from God.
Here are 5 ways marriage can travel down the path to becoming perverted:
- Spouses stop praying together.
- Married couples break fellowship with believers who can build up their marriage with encouragement, intercession and Godly modeling.
- Spouses stop communicating, allowing a void in their thought life that the enemy fills with lies about each other.
- Couples neglect the romance and sex that help keep their passion for one another burning (date nights, snuggling, affection and intimacy become a thing of the past).
- Spouses prioritize their things or other people ahead of their spouse.
Do a self-assessment of your marriage. One of the five above is bad enough. But if there are more than one, that means it’s all the more urgent to turn things around.
Speaking of turning things around, here’s an interesting word fact. The opposite of, and therefore solution for, perversion is repentance.
Repent means the same thing pervert does, with one gigantic difference. Pervert is to turn completely away from God; repent is turn back to God completely (re: back to; pent turn).
Here are the ways to repent in correlation to the five steps toward perversion listed above:
- Spouses begin praying together in addition to spending individual time seeking God in prayer.
- The married couple find Christian marriage community that will support their marriage, not work to tear it down.
- Spouses become intentional about communicating lovingly and abundantly.
- The married couple work to reignite their passion for one another by having romantic and intimate time together.
- The married couple re-establish each other as top priority above all others.
The key to all this is getting God into the center of the marriage relationship. Once there, He’ll lead you in moving forward in keeping with repentance. And away from perversion.
May God bless us all as we diligently work to keep ourselves turned toward God!