There’s a leadership vacuum. That’s what I’ve heard for years, but I never believed it. Leadership isn’t complicated, I thought. But I’ve been in several work situations over the past few years that have shown me there is, indeed, a deficit in the way many leaders lead others.
I’m always looking for ways to apply principles to marriage, since I’m in a season of focusing my writing, counseling and teaching efforts on marriage. So, these leadership principles I hope to share in a way that will help married couples.
Leadership is influence, so both husband and wife need it, both needing to have a Godly influence on their spouse.
If marriage seems hard, a real struggle, then maybe VIE will help as you struggle – or vie to have a good marriage. VIE is an acrostic for Value, Intrinsic & Exemplary
Value-oriented. Effective leadership begins with valuing the people you’re leading. The more you value them, the more you’ll want to invest in them.
Intrinsic Motivation. Good leadership is understanding that people are best motivated from within, rather than by external rewards, like money, gifts and the threat of consequences. There’s a time for extrinsic motivation (to reinforce intrinsic), but intrinsic is more respectful and ultimately recognizes the person’s power to make their own choices.
Example. Leading by example is as basic as leadership gets. If a leader lacks the self-discipline, work ethic or willingness to sacrifice that they’re asking of others, they soon won’t have any followers.
For married couples,
- Value your spouse very highly.
- Help them build motivation intrinsically (in their heart). Never use coercion or ultimatums.
- Set the Godly example they can follow (rather than modeling something that conflicts with God’s vision for them).
A Godly marriage is spouses influencing each other toward Godliness. Vie for your marriage.
