First, congratulations! High school wasn’t easy. Neither were the years of pre-high school, for that matter. We all tend to look at those coming along behind us with very little sympathy. “We went through those challenges, we tell ourselves, “and we made it through, so what’s the big deal? They’ll survive.” Of course, ours were tougher, and so were we, because we had neither shoes nor buses, it was always snowing, and ours was a time when everywhere we walked was uphill. The true story is that those school years were tough. They were tough for me, and they were tough for you. The hard thing about those times was that we were constantly told what to do. Our parents, teachers, school administrators, lunchroom supervisors, librarians, coaches, and upperclassmen took every opportunity to keep us in line. Oh, we’ll still have rules in the post-high school world, and there’ll be plenty of people with the authority and responsibility to enforce those rules – bosses, professors, law enforcement officers. But we have a little more wiggle room. We still face consequences for bad decisions, but we aren’t quite so micromanaged as we were in school. Don’t get me wrong. We needed the tight leash during our school years. It kept us on track for development and maturity, and, let’s be honest, in some cases, it kept us alive. But it was tough – the tight leash. Congratulations for graduating from that!
I graduated from Lakewood High School forty years ago on June 6th. Class of ’80 – whoo-yeah! While your senior year and graduation experience is unique, your class and mine do have a couple of things in common. I entered the first grade in 1968. Segregation of schools according to race had been ruled unconstitutional by the U.S. Supreme Court fourteen years before then. But our school system didn’t desegregate until the 1969-70 school year. My first grade class of about seventy students consisted of only two African American students, and the rest white. My understanding is that attending a school comprised predominantly of a race different from a student’s own was still voluntary that year. My second grade class was about 55% white and 45% African American. Schools in my area were fully integrated that year. I was oblivious to it at the time. It wasn’t until I was an adult studying civil rights history that I remembered the difference between those first and second grade classes.
Obviously, race was a huge issue in my day. The Civil Rights Acts of 1964 and 1968 made discrimination illegal, but there was still a lot of racial tension in the ‘70s and ‘80s. I’m sorry to say, Class of 2020, that we never have resolved those racial tension issues. I wish I could say we had, but you know better. The reason we haven’t resolved it is because we never, as a national people, resolved in our hearts to resolve it in our nation. So, my challenge to you is to do that. Do what we should’ve done but didn’t do. Resolve in your hearts to resolve the race problem in our land. Forty years from now, if you write a letter to the Class of 2060, I hope you can say you resolved the racial tension issue, so they won’t have to.
Class of 2020, I have one more challenge for you. It’s even more important than the race related one, and it’s around another issue I wish I had done differently. The most important question we will ever answer is: what is your relationship with God like? I discovered the love and power of Jesus Christ in 1983, and I surrendered my life to Him. I wish I had done it sooner, and that I had been more completely committed to Him every day of my walk with Him. I ask you, Class of 2020, to ask God to show you who Jesus really is and what that has to do with you. Then, read the Bible (the book of John is the best place to start.) and let Him reveal Himself to you as you read. Once you come to understand who He is, surrender your life to Him. You’ll be entering an everlasting relationship with Him that will include life, peace, and joy. That’s my challenge to you, and this is my letter to you. Congratulations and may God bless you more than you can imagine!
When I picture in my mind what Hell will be like, I see people writhing in pain that won’t go away. They twist and squirm, cry and cry out, but there’s no comfort to be found, just unending struggle. The demons, for whom Hell was created, are both suffering and inflicting the suffering. When I saw the video of George Floyd, his neck being pressed into the pavement of a Minneapolis street, as he kept turning his head trying to find some relief from the strangulation of the kneeling police officer’s knee pressing down onto George’s neck, slowly and painfully strangling him to death, I saw a man going through Hell. A massive demon, his prickly spine under his slimy skin, was perched upon the shoulders of Officer Chauvin. The demon covered the officer’s ears with his massive wings to shut out the voices that were pleading for George’s life. The demon briefly uncovered Chauvin’s ears, and another spirit whispered to him with an eerily gruff voice, “Don’t listen to them! You’re the authority here!” Then the perched demon covered the policeman’s ears again. High above the ground was a cloud of dark spirits swirling like a cyclone, blocking the light of the sun, and covering the whole sky, casting a dark shadow over the entire city. Every few seconds, a different spirit would swoop down to whisper words of hatred, pride and murder, as the one assigned to Chauvin availed Chauvin’s ears for a new hellish message from a cohort. With each demonic message, “he deserves it!“…”show him no mercy!”…”Kneel harder”…”If he dies, he dies!”…Chauvin’s resolve hardened, as did his knee in George’s neck. Finally, George experienced the thing Hell loves most: death.
May 31
Dispatched from the very throne room of God, powerful angels of light streaked downward, leaving a trail of fire behind them. Their orders were to minister life to the city of their destination: Miami, FL. U.S. They descended to one hundred feet above the earth and formed a fiery, brilliant cloud that illuminated all of Miami. Down below, crowds had gathered on the streets to protest. Dispatched from the city’s highest authority, police officers stood, ready to maintain order. The mighty Michael called seven of the most effective angels: humility, contrition, encouragement, service, friendship, empathy “To the officers! Speak the love of the King!” The seven chosen spirits of light dropped majestically onto seven of the officers of the Miami PD. They landed softly and spoke clearly into their ears, “Humble yourself”…“Feel their pain.”…“Tell them you’re sorry.”…”Comfort them.”… “They’re not your enemy.” The angels spoke not as forceful commands, but as suggestions. And the Miami police officers took their every suggestion. The officers knelt and apologized from their hearts. Michael had also assigned hundreds of angels to communicate to the protesters. Their message? Forgive. And forgive they did. Officers and protesters embraced each other, held each other, showed kindness to one another, and cried together. Michael and the other angels maintained their lofty position to fight off any of the angels of darkness that might come to confuse, but they never came. They knew, from experience with Michael and the Heavenly host, that they were outmatched. The sky shone brighter in Miami that day than anywhere else in the world. And Heaven drank from the cups of the victories it seeks most: Love and Life.
Hell gained a kneeling war victory in Minneapolis last week and Heaven won one in Miami. But the kneeling wars are not over, and I’m enlisting in the service of the Heavenly King. Kneeling, I ask you, God, to help our nation heal, send spirits of love and life and give them voices louder than the ones of their hellish foes. Satan, I have something to say to you! Still kneeling in honor of God, my victorious King, I speak to you in the name of Jesus, the one sent to free us from your hateful clutches, the one who gave His life to completely disarm you and render you defeated. You have no place in our lives or in our nation! I command you with the authority given to me by Almighty God through my friendship with His Son, Jesus, to be silent! You are a false-accusing, destructive deceiver, and your lies are not welcome in the ears of the people of this land! So be silent! And I, still kneeling now, have something to say to my African-American fellow citizens. I’m sorry for the way our country has treated you. Your ancestors were enslaved under a banner of freedom for all people. I’m sorry! I’m sorry that, after slavery was outlawed in our land, several states passed laws to limit your freedom to earn, learn, travel, dine, socialize, own and vote in the way your white neighbors could. I’m sorry your parents and grandparents were held down in a disadvantaged position, unable to give their children many of the opportunities my white friends and I enjoyed. I’m sorry you were stripped of your dignity in front of your families, and I commend so many of my African-American friends for the way you have carried yourselves in the face of discrimination. I’m sorry for the voices of hate hurled against you like a dagger into your heart. I’m sorry for the crimes committed against you, especially the ones that went unpunished and even unacknowledged. I’m sorry for the police brutality and discrimination you’ve endured from our legal system. I’m sorry for the faint voice you’ve heard that says you’re inferior. You, most certainly, are not! That’s the voice of Satan, regardless of what person’s lips have spoken it, and he is the father of lies. You’re as valuable, as intelligent, as favored by God as any race has ever been! In fact, because of your troubles and trials, you are beneficiaries of a special love and favor from God! He has plans for you! Your tomorrow is Life in God.
Finally, I’d like to say something to my friends who would criticize me for this post: Don’t bother. Instead, please join me in kneeling for victory.
Acknowledgement: Thanks and credit to Frank E. Peretti, author of This PresentDarkness, PiercingtheDarkness, Tilly, and TheCooperKidsAdventureSeries and more. While I didn’t quote any of his material here, I definitely borrowed his style of describing activity in the spirit realm. I just happened to be re-reading This Present Darkness last week, and its influence on this week’s blog is unmistakable.
Sunday night, a week ago, finished up The Last Dance series on ESPN, a documentary covering the 1997-98 season of the NBA’s Chicago Bulls. That was the last of the six championship seasons for Michael Jordan and the Bulls. Management decided before the season that it would be coach Phil Jackson’s final season and that they would dismantle and rebuild after that season. So, in an effort to unify and motivate his players for one final run at an NBA title, Phil dubbed the season The Last Dance, which was an ingenious way of creating a very effective us-against-them mindset, even if – or, especially if – the them was the Bulls front office.
The series was really good. No real surprises for me, though. I’m five months older than Michael Jordan, a third generation Tarheel basketball fan, and an NBA fan since I was eight years old. I’ve followed Michael closely from the first time he wore a Dean Smith uniform and saw every game of his pro career that I could possibly watch, even in the nineties, when we had anywhere from one to three at a time in diapers, my wife and me working full-time, and both of us super-involved in church ministry. So I knew very well Michael’s fierce-competitor, do-whatever-to-win approach to the game, along with his superhuman athleticism and unstoppable skill set. And make no mistake, while other prominent figures – like Phil, Scottie, Kraus and Rodman – were duly featured, The Last Dance spotlight shone warmly where it belonged – on Michael. I count it a privilege to have witnessed MJ play through his entire career, and I’ve honestly thanked God for scheduling my time on earth to correlate with Michael’s. Aside from the beauty of his airness’ artistry of scoring so acrobatically against multiple defenders and the poetry he wrote with his game-winning heroics, he was a perfect model of talent meets determination meets work ethic for anyone from any walk of life. Someone said in the series You could argue that Michael Jordan was better at his job than anyone has ever been at their job. I agree, with the single exception of Jesus Christ, who is the exception to an undeterminable number of otherwise strong best-ever arguments.
Speaking of Jesus, please read what He said, as recorded in the book of Luke (I added the emphasis on what is the main point of His lesson):
“There was a certain rich man who had a steward, and an accusation was brought to him that this man was wasting his goods. 2 So he called him and said to him, ‘What is this I hear about you? Give an account of your stewardship, for you can no longer be steward.’
3 “Then the steward said within himself, ‘What shall I do? For my master is taking the stewardship away from me. I cannot dig; I am ashamed to beg. 4 I have resolved what to do, that when I am put out of the stewardship, they may receive me into their houses.’
5 “So he called every one of his master’s debtors to him, and said to the first, ‘How much do you owe my master?’ 6 And he said, ‘A hundred measures of oil.’ So he said to him, ‘Take your bill, and sit down quickly and write fifty.’ 7 Then he said to another, ‘And how much do you owe?’ So he said, ‘A hundred measures of wheat.’ And he said to him, ‘Take your bill, and write eighty.’ 8 So the master commended the unjust steward because he had dealt shrewdly. For the sons of this world are more shrewd in their generation than the sons of light.
This is the most difficult to understand of all Jesus’ thirty parables. But it helps to realize that He used a negative model for a positive application. The negative is that the steward used his shrewdness to steal from his master once he learned it was, for his stewardship, the last dance. The positive application is that we should be so shrewd in making life-after-stewardship-preparations for ourselves (life on earth being our stewardship era, and the preparations being giving ourselves completely to serving God and people). After all, life being a vapor, our gig could be up at any time. We could be in our very own last dance.
Jesus’ point is that we can learn lessons from people who are successful in worldly pursuits, and we can apply those lessons to our pursuits in His Kingdom.
Dishonest Steward’s Model: He stole from his master and gave what he’d stolen to his master’s debtors, so they would be kind to him after he lost his position as steward.
Our Takeaway: Be generous with the resources available to us in this life; by doing so, we are making an investment in eternity and our return on investment will be exponentially favorable.
Not Our Takeaway: Obviously, Jesus isn’t encouraging us to ever be dishonest in our dealings. Nor is He suggesting that we ever steal from anyone.
And here are some lessons we can take from Michael Jordan, the greatest of all time (GOAT) in basketball history.
GOAT’s Model: MJ used anything he could find to boost his motivation to dominate his opponents. For example, Karl Malone, of the Utah Jazz was league MVP one year, and Jordan took offense to that, wanting to prove in the championship series against Utah that year that Jordan was the better player who would lead his team to the championship over Malone’s team.
Our Takeaway: Any time our enemy (ungodliness) enjoys some success, we can use that as added motivation to serve and glorify God with great intensity and determination.
Not Our Takeaway: We never want to use another person’s success as motivation to better them. That’s covetousness. As followers of Christ, we can’t find motivation in just anything. Our top priority is to guard our hearts. A pure heart is more important to us than accomplishments superior to another person’s.
GOAT’s Model: It’s well documented that Michael raised his teammates’ level of play by challenging them in team practices, to the point of bullying them.
Our Takeaway: We should look for opportunities to encourage our brothers and sisters in Christ in their faith. We all need each other’s help. We’re all members of the Body of Christ and we should proactively help the body by helping a member.
Not Our Takeaway: A domineering approach to motivating someone is not Christlike. Concerning how to become a great leader, Jesus told his disciples, “Whoever desires to become great among you, let him be your servant.” There we go… servant leadership is the style God wants for us.
GOAT’s Model: Michael was single-minded in his pursuit of winning championships and wanted to win at all costs.
Our Takeaway: How awesome it would be if we were so single-minded about bringing glory to God and about helping people come to know Him as their Savior, Lord and King.
Not Our Takeaway: While we are called to deny ourselves and take up our cross to follow Christ, we need to decide that offending others by being unkind to them isn’t a cost we’re willing to pay.
What would my life (and my and others’ eternities) look like if I were as single-minded and all-in concerning the objectives God has called me to as Michael was concerning his objectives? Again, thank You, God, for providing for me such a model as Michael Jordan. Please help me to apply those lessons to my life in Your Kingdom!
“What a beautiful sunset!” I pointed to the western horizon and we could see the orangey red sky through the winter woods behind the open shelter where we were. “The thing about beauty is that it inspires. The Bible says the very feet of those who bring people the good news about Jesus Christ are beautiful. I remember the people who brought me the message of God’s saving love and power, and those people will be forever beautiful to me.” The microphone slipped from my left hand and landed in the bend of my left elbow. My words began to run together and I couldn’t separate them even as I continued to try. The microphone hit the floor. My wife, Sharlene, ran up to me, hugged me tight and said, “”Gabe, you may be having a stroke.” She turned to our guests, “He’s had a headache all day and he never has headaches.” Several of the guests rushed to me, led by my son, Nate. Nate voiced a prayer calling on God for protection and the others spoke in hushed syllables that combined to make a rumbling sound of agreement. They lifted me up and sat me in a chair. Then some men lifted the chair with me in it and carried me to the beginning of our driveway while Caleb, my daughter, Janna’s, fiancé, called 911. Soon I was in an ambulance and in the ER before I knew it and almost immediately in surgery where a neurologist inserted a stint in my right carotid artery. After surgery, he told Sharlene that I’d had the worst dissected carotid he’d ever seen. He said I may not live, and if I did, I may not walk again.
That was three months ago, the beginning of the hardest three months of my life. If the feet of those carrying the message of Jesus’ love are beautiful, then so are those who continually show His love to people who need it, like I have over the past ninety-one days. I thank God for the beautiful, inspiring people He’s used to comfort me with love and care! And I thank those people too! Thank you, Lord for protecting me by having many people around me when it happened, so they could respond quickly, and for the hospital staff of physicians, nurses, therapists and others.
Thank you for Sharlene! Sharlene, you’re the greatest blessing of my life, besides God Himself. You always love me and you have treated this situation as an opportunity to show your love to me again; you always do everything well and completely, and you’ve taken care of my every need – physical, mental/emotional without complaint, and you won’t ever even let me apologize. I love you, baby! I’m so glad you’re the one for me!
Lord thank you for my oldest son, Tres, and his wife, Paizley! Tres, you and Paiz were standing at the foot of my hospital bed when I woke up the morning after the stroke. You had come on the earliest flight you could get from your home in Kansas City. You walked over to me, put your mouth to my ear and called on God to heal me, raise me up and strengthen me so I could preach His Word. You stayed until you had to return to work. Then, Tres, you found a way to come back again and spend time with me in the hospital, and you’ve continued to pray for me. You’ve called me two or three times a week to encourage me and just to chat. I love talking with you!
Lord, thank you for my son, Nate, wife Haley, and their boys, two-year-old Titus and one-month-old Leo! Nate, you and Haley have prayed for me, visited me, and phoned or texted when you couldn’t visit. I’m thankful you’re only fifteen minutes away, because seeing you guys often has been very strengthening to me, and you guys bringing the boys over has made many of my days. Titus’s little (actually, huge!) hugs and kisses have been like salve to me. You guys’ faith is strong and I appreciate you exercising it on my behalf and helping me keep my attitude positive and my faith strong!
God, thank You for my oldest daughter, Kristin! Kwi, you drove here from your home in Richmond the night of the stroke as soon as you heard. You stayed as long as you could, and you’ve returned several times, offering all kinds of comfort measures whenever you’ve been here. And thank your boyfriend, Alex, for helping me with my (pitiful) attempt at a beard during my recovery days. You’ve also made multiple visits, being very generous with your time, and you’ve stayed in touch when you’ve been in Richmond and been a huge cheerleader for me. I’m so thankful for your loving personality, Kwi-girl!
Lord God, I give You thanks for my son, Jacob! Jake, you came from your home in Boise on the first available flight and I saw you the day after the stroke. You stayed as long as you could, encouraging me the whole while. After returning to work, you came again once I went home and helped me with therapy and to keep my spirits up. After going back home, you’ve sent me a selfie video every day encouraging and challenging me, and you and your wife, Karissa kept me lifted up in prayer. Thanks Jakey!
Lord, I give you thanks for my youngest son, Luke! Luke, you came from your home in Brooklyn ASAP and were there the day after the stroke with words of love and comfort. After returning for work, you came back again and stayed as long as you possibly could. I hated to see you leave again, but you have kept in touch with words that let me know you love me. Thanks, buddy!
Finally, Lord, thank you for my youngest daughter, Janna! Janna-girl, you have postponed returning to Boston, so you could stay and help me. And help me you have, assisting me with therapy and whatever else Mom and I needed every day. You’ve been a selfless, caring person, and I’ve been proud to see it and honored to be the beneficiary of it. Thank you for such loving sacrifice! And thanks to Caleb for calling 911 for me!
I also thank God for little Leo, born to Nate and Haley on February 29 and for Tristan, due next week to Tres and Paizley More beautiful little Tew feet! It’s an awesome thing to feel so loved by my wife and kids!
I thank my siblings! You guys have poured out your love in all kinds of ways! You make me proud and I know our parents would be so very proud. They both passed five years ago this weekend and you have honored them with your lives at every opportunity! I also thank Sharlene’s family! You are always the model Christian family, and you have been again, setting the example with caring visits, thoughtful gifts and words of encouragement.
CJ Blankenship, you have been my very intimate friend for several years now. We’ve been ministry partners and just plain good buddies. I appreciate your advocacy during this time. You’ve stood for me in prayer, found a way for me to receive pay during my recovery time, and counselled me in some of my most trying times. You’ve been a source of wisdom for my kids and continued to hold high, in every way, your standard for friendship and brotherhood! Thank you, my brother!
CJ & I work together in the Christian Recovery Houses ministry. Several CRH leaders that we work with visited me and prayed for me diligently. I’m very appreciative of the support that they showed me.
828 Church, you are our church family and I’ve been so impressed with your response to me and my family. Your generosity of time, money, food and other resources has been inspiring. Thank you! And a special thanks to our life group! You have demonstrated what the Body of Christ is supposed to be! Friends in Wilmington, like, Jody Eason, Darrin Stacy, Richard and Beth Marks, Lania Kelly, Holly Maxson, and Geraldine Parreno, I thank you from the bottom of my heart! You have given me your services as professionals, and insisted on not being compensated!
There have been many other beautiful people for which I’m grateful. Elizabeth Baptist Church, you were my church family as I was growing up and you have always been there for me. You have prayed for me and sent cards and messages. I thank God for your love for me and for Him! My friends from Lakewood High School, I haven’t seen some of you for forty years (wow!), and it means so much to hear your kind words and to know you are praying for me and thinking of me! I’ve had friends from the Wingate University family reach out to let me know of their love and prayers. Ted Bryan, my college roommate and dear friend, I texted you to let you know I’d had a stroke and you and wife Cindy were beside my bed within two hours. And you live two hours away! Much thanks and love to you both! What friends you are!
Thanks to our friends from Grace Harbor Church, Gospel Tabernacle, Clinton Community Church, Roseboro First Baptist Church, Pleasant Union Baptist Church and the North Carolina Conference of IPHC. You’ve all been part of our journey and are forever in our hearts! Thank you for your prayers, your love and your kindness!
I’m surrounded by friends from every phase of my life, and the love that extends to me from so many is overwhelming! Thank You, God, for such richness!
The Wavering and the Faithful
I want to share some of my spiritual journey. I’ve been on quite a roller coaster, in a spiritual sense and emotionally. I hope you find it helpful, somehow, and can benefit from knowing about my mistakes, failures and triumphs. I’ve been surprised by some of my weaknesses. I’ve never been a person to worry, doubt or fear very much, but I’ve struggled with all three of those foes on this journey, Some of the reason for that, I’m sure, is that the stroke actually killed part of my brain, and the mind must have a well-functioning brain to, itself, function well. The ability to control emotions is compromised when that part of the brain is either absent or not fully restored. Still, I know I could’ve carried on with a stronger, more victorious attitude than I have at times. I’ve had many great days when my thoughts were only of God and His wonderful works. In fact, a typical day has been filled with praises and thanks to the Lord, motivated to work through the pains of therapy exercises by the vision of God having answered my prayers and my living out the life of serving Him and enjoying Him and His resources – the life I’ve asked Him for.
However, there have been days when I’ve wavered. But God has been faithful every day. There have been three major battles of my faith during this period of my recovery. The first was when I allowed myself to become confused. Here I was a stroke patient all of a sudden, and it was a huge surprise. This wasn’t supposed to happen to me. I didn’t have high blood pressure or diabetes, I wasn’t overweight, I exercised regularly, and my diet was pretty healthy. I didn’t drink or smoke, and I played basketball every week or two with guys thirty years younger than I was, and I thanked the Lord each time as I drove home from that pickup game that He enabled me to play. I remember lying in my hospital bed calculating that I had been in the condition of someone the age of twenty-seven and was now in the condition of a seventy-seven year old. That’s a fifty year swing!” I thought. I was in a state of disbelief, utterly surprised. If the element of surprise is used effectively in military strategy, it can throw the enemy into confusion; that was me – confused. And that’s not a good place to be. I needed to be clear that God was going to take care of me, that He was going to completely heal me. That was my prayer and I had thousands of people joining with me in that request of our Almighty Healer.
My discouragement came to a head about seven weeks after the stroke. I had been home from the hospital a couple of weeks when Sharlene’s brother, Jeff & his wife Lorrie, offered their Myrtle Beach place to us. We spent several days there resting and rehabbing. On the way home, Sharlene, Luke, Janna and I stopped for brunch. As we sat eating, I became very emotional. I sat crying trying to explain to them my thought process and why I was discouraged, but I was so distraught I couldn’t articulate it. After several minutes of embarrassingly weeping in public, I pulled it together enough to get out to the car. As we got down the road a piece, I told Sharlene, Luke and Janna I needed some alone time when we got home. We pulled into the driveway and parked. I went into the house, grabbed a blanket and a box of tissues and got onto our bed. I intended to pour my heart out to God and cry myself to sleep. But I only got out one word. “Lord,” I prayed. As soon as I spoke His name, He flooded my mind with the awesome works He was performing in my life. He was making me wiser, more compassionate with a greater capacity for empathy, tougher, more patient and more dependent upon Him. He and I would walk more closely than ever now and for the rest of my life. He was drawing all my kids to Himself; those who hadn’t surrendered to Him yet would come to know Him and those who did know Him as their Lord would know Him better than they had. Our family would grow closer together. My story would be a testimony of His love and power and would inspire many to seek Him. The list of His intentions and works went on, flooding my mind. Finally, all I could say was “Thank You!” I said it a dozen times or more and faded peacefully off to sleep. My confusion was turned to gratitude, an all I did was come into His presence and call His name. My gratitude intensified when I woke and realized that, despite my wavering faith, He had been faithful to His Word.
A few weeks later, my faith wavered again. My left shoulder and hand were at a standstill. I hadn’t seen any progress in weeks, and my shoulder was in danger of freezing up. I researched complications of a shoulder after a stroke. One of the possible answers was that there could be neurological problems. It could be that the brain wasn’t restored fully enough to send the correct information to the shoulder, so the shoulder wouldn’t heal properly. I wondered if God might be choosing to take me home before long. I mean, was He going to take me to Heaven instead of healing me? In all my wavering, I never doubted that Jesus had saved me from my sins and that I would spend eternity with Him. My wavering was whether He would answer my prayer to be completely healed. I told God what I wanted: Lord, I’m so thankful for Your salvation and that You have a place for me with You forever. But I don’t want to leave this life yet. I ask for more time to run this race. I want to experience more with my kids and grandkids, and I want to make more of a contribution of ministry before I leave. I submit to Your will, Lord. Your will is best. But that’s what I want. Lord, please grant it. I didn’t know what God would do, but the idea of leaving my family now took me into some deep discouragement. I talked with Sharlene, Nate and Haley, Janna, Kristin, and CJ each about what was going on in my head. They all gave me good advice and I got comfort from every one of them.
But what finally brought me out of that darkness was a Messenger text from Vadim Elovick, a good friend from Belarus. In the course of our texting conversation, I texted, “Thanks for all your prayers, Vadim! I still have a pretty good ways to go, so please continue trusting God with me for a complete recovery. Love you!” He replied, “I will. God will restore every muscle in your body and every cell. I trust Him.” After reading that, I thought, “That’s so simple. Why don’t I just keep it that simple?” I made up my mind right then that I would. I would simply trust God to answer my prayer. Jesus said “Whatever you ask in My name I will do.” God promises elsewhere in His Word that He will hear the prayers we pray and give us what we ask for. I searched the Gospels and couldn’t find a single occasion when Jesus didn’t do a miraculous work for someone who asked Him for one. I remembered other promises in God’s Word and thought, “There’s much more reason to believe that God will answer my prayer than that He won’t.” The Holy Spirit had gotten me back on track once again.
It wouldn’t be long, though, a couple of weeks, before I would waver in my faith again. In the midst of the Covid 19 pandemic, I aspirated a couple of times while drinking something. I coughed a couple of times and the idea came into my head that there could be something developing in my lungs, a concern for stroke patients because of swallowing issues. I made the mistake once again of allowing a seed of doubt to grow. That evening, Nate and Haley were having dinner with us. As I interacted with my little buddy, Titus, the thought of God taking me away dominated my mind. Tears came and I left the room, went into my bedroom and hit my knees beside my bed, sobbing. Sharlene, Nate, Haley and Titus followed me in there and began praying for me. After they prayed, I explained how I’d fallen into that pit of discouragement. They understood, but they didn’t excuse it. “You’ve got to stop entertaining such thoughts,” and, “God is going to heal you. That’s already settled.” were a couple of the many comments they made to me. I got straightened out, apologized for being such a poor example of faith, and thanked them for helping me out of my latest pitfall. God had, once again, showed me His faithfulness. Lord, thank you for Your faithfulness to keep Your Word and Your patience with me even as I’ve faltered in keeping mine! I’ve learned the secret to overcoming confusion. Military training exercises teach trainees to look for the one thing that will reorient them when they become disoriented and confused. For me. That key is God’s promises.
Here are some of the promises vital for me:
Jer 29:11-14 – For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. 12 Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. 13 And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart. 14 I will be found by you, says the Lord, and I will bring you back from your captivity.
John 14:13-14 – And whatever you ask in My name, that I will do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son. 14 If you ask anything in My name, I will do it.
1 John 5:14-15 – Now this is the confidence that we have in Him, that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. 15 And if we know that He hears us, whatever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we have asked of Him.
1 Peter 5:6-7 – Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you.
Isa 40:31 – But those who wait on the Lord Shall renew their strength; They shall mount up with wings like eagles, They shall run and not be weary, They shall walk and not faint.
And here are some songs that have gotten me through some valleys:
So many people I couldn’t mention have prayed for me and I am forever grateful! The Lord has done miraculous work thus far. I ask for your continued prayers for these specifics: · That I’ll gain full control of the fingers on my left hand · That God will restore my singing voice
